How to Gain Control of Compulsive Shopping

We’ve all done it — you’re feeling sad, depressed or bored and you go shopping for a “pick me up” or to pass the day and end up buying a new outfit or two, even though your really didn’t need more clothes.  The momentary rush of good feeling that comes from the impulse purchase is just that … momentary and it is quickly replaced with regret when you realize that you still feel the same way inside and now you also spent money you shouldn’t have on something you really didn’t need.

As I’ve said, we’ve all been there before, but for some this truly becomes an addictive behavior of compulsive shopping. There is actually a medical term for the compulsive desire to shop – Oniomania. For most, this is the result of a need to fill a void and is often associated with low levels of self-esteem. It’s a vicious cycle: You’re feeling down, you compulsively go shopping and buy something, you have an emotional life of momentary euphoria, and then become regretful or depressed and the whole process starts all over.

I am not a psychiatrist or medical expert and if you feel this problem is out of control you should seek help from a medical professional or contact Debtors Anonymous. With that said, there are practical ways to try and gain control over the problem, and then there are more emotional efforts you can put in place.

Practical Ways to Gain Control of Compulsive Shopping

• Avoid going to stores.
• If you must shop for something bring a friend or family member who will keep you in check.
• Shop in person at a store and stop the internet, mail order or late night TV purchases.
• Cancel all your catalogs. Stop the temptation.
• Make a list and buy only what’s on the list.
• Don’t use credit cards (leave them at home or cut them up).
• Only buy what you can afford to pay cash for.
• For bigger items that you “must have”, write it down and revisit the list in 30 days to see if you still must have it or if the “need” was just a whim to fill a void.

Dealing With the Bigger Emotional Void

Let’s face it, if we are compulsively shopping to fill a void because we are sad, lonely or depressed … or to deal with anger or stress … then we need to deal with the bigger problems causing those feelings in our life.

• Start a journal and write down when you have the urge to shop and also write down how you are feeling and what happened in your day that may have led to that feeling. Over time see if you can find the triggers that cause the urge to shop.

• Start a gratitude journal and jot down what you are grateful for in your life. When we are sad or depressed we lose sight of all the good in our life. So, write it down and then when you are having a bad day go back and read all that you wrote.

• Exercise. The power of endorphins released from exercise is an amazing and powerful natural pick me up that can help make the “blues” go away.

• Have fun with friends or family members. Get out and play.

• Surround yourself with happy people that make you feel good! For example, if you’ve got a nagging mom that’s always critical … she’s probably not the person to be around when your are feeling down and may actually be the cause of self-esteem issues.

• Laugh. Watch a funny movie. The natural emotional powers of laughter are huge.

• Do something new and different. New experiences can cause excitement in your life.

• Volunteer. Doing good, feels good!

Please share with me any other suggestions to gain control over compulsive shopping. As with anything that is an addiction, the power and support of others is critical to succeed.

Another Living Frugal Tip and food for thought.